this is my avenue

Monday, April 24, 2006

[[ this is what i want to say. ]]

hahaahs!!... omg omg omg... skul finally started liao!!!...

today, Monday, 24/4/06 skul started.. the start of a new yr in timetable... new semester... new topics, new teachers, and some new classmates.. not all my classmates managed to stay in the same class... like 4 of them werent there.. its a little different and quiet? ... proly cus not all the 20 ppl there.. shy, jy, jingyi and clement.. not there.. haha.. one dropped out and the others failed a subject or module.. tts y..

so anyways, i came to skul rather early today.. dono y.. but i just was rather excited to go to skuL!!.. haha.. somemore yesterday, i bought my bag, so then, im more excited!!.. haha..
i woke up quite early.. to get ready.. new shoes, new shirt, new bag, new hair, new life??!!
hahaha!.. meeting jeremy in the morning first cus he went to CMPB then its near there my place, so we went to meet at the safra bus stop.. then, headed for skul.. took 195 then 61... reached there about 15 mins bfore 10?.. i was SURPRISED to find SOO MANY PPL in the atrium and everywhere else!!.. haha... omg, all the FRESHIES!!!... ahem!, im alredy a SENIOR mind u.. haha..went to print our timetables at the skul service centre thing.. omg, it was fucking packed.. until cannot even walk la.. all the freshies of the world!.. haha

so then went for class.. met some of them at co-op, the new and nicely improved co-op shop.. the aunties were quite surprised i did my hair, cus they were realli fans of my curls!.. ahaha..so had a nice halo auntie long time no see chat!.. haha.. in class, seeing the faces of my classmates and frens, omg, realli lighten up my heart!.. i couldnt stop laughing!.. i dont noe why!.. but i just couldnt stop laughing!.. hahahas!!!.. teachers, kinda sucked etc etc..

then for lunch went to canteen one..kind of a mistake!.. cus we went there to find tt place was PACKED!!... packed with freshies and ppl!!!... omg, there was no seats!... we had to stand for sometimes bfore we saw seats!.. then bought food!!.. and ate!.. and i bought the JAPANESE balls, or tokayaki in short!!!!.. i missed those!!!.. omg, soooo delictable!.. haha...i tink was jamal said was rather true.. thEy new to ngee ann mah.. so they don realli noe the other canteens that is available!.. HELLO?! there is like 6 FREAKING CANTEENS!.. must u hog canteen one!?.. haha..

also, met quite a number of familiar faces!.. haha.. from queensway sec skul!!!.. it makes me sooo happy... esp, if they still rmb me...! hahaha... lol.. saw, chee cho, wen ping, the band girl, spencer, etc etc.. sori if i forget ur name.. don mean too.. but too many names to rmb!.. anyways, if u find this blog eventually, nice meeting yall again!!!!!.. =))

after lunch, went back to class.. slack for FOOP.. i didnt understand a fucking shit la!!!...dono wad the fuck tt arse was teaching oso.. heard, from jamal, the mdm tan ai ling, maths lecturer is rather PMS-ed!..oh fuck!.. just great!.. tmr maths somemore.. bloody fuck..

so, then after the whole TIRING skul day... met jamal at the library.. and eventually met jeremy too.. while waiting for jer, watched spiderman 2.. hahaha.. oklal, watch bfore.. just hate the CARTOONish effects too much la.. then, jeremy came, hang a while more and went home.. and now im writing this blog shit here.. haha..

klal, after soo long nv go skul today go very very tiring sia!!!.. i wanna rest.. buaiz!!!...

*peace out*

this is my avenue

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

[[ this is what i want to say. ]]

HEY YOo!!!!..
YAY!!!.. FINALLY!!!.. NEW SHOE!!!.. wahahahas..

k so, hmm, the day started actually quite early in the morning.. had to wake uP early.. so can ask mom for $$ to buy SHOE!!.. HAHAS... and i slpt at 3+ am last nite made it almost an impossible thing to do.. hahaas.. so like i forced myself to wake up.. my dearest mom gave me $$ to go buy shoe.. at first not enuff.. then i also had planned to get bag as well, then i was a little moody and angry.. haha.. with my mom.. cus gimme not enuff wanna buy bag.. (ps, im tt kinda person at home!!) hahas.. but then like aiyah, nvm lal.. just take wad she give first.. so then still not enuff at first.. until i begged her.. haha.. and she increased it slightly.. hahas!!..

so then, now having the money.. i need the company to go there!!.. hmm, ive asked jamal to tell his mom he prolly has to go skul one of the days this wk.. hehe.. actually to accompany me buy my shoe.. ahahas...actually planned to meet at bout 1... but then we still talking on the phone at 1230.. i left about 1pm.. reached there about 115 lidat... JAMAL!!!! AS USUAL!!. LATE!!... i already on the bus on the way he still eating!!.. omg, i was sooo fucked uP!.. wahaha..i knew i should've been late!... now u noe y im alwaez late!. cus my frens late.. so i tend to come later so i don have to wait, then i oso canot kick the habbit!.. hahas..

k so then, thought nvm, just sit down at the bus stop wait.. then got down the bus, and saw jeremy!.. haha.. said hi and all.. and ask where he going..how come he down there.. he going NP to purchase his lappy!!.. haha.. GUESS WAD! ngee ann has APPLE MACINTOSH lappies this yr lal!!!!!!.. fucking bitch!!!.. and its way cheaper than the IBMs!!.. hahaa.. but then, nvm, i luurrrvvveee my IBM!!.. then he oso just missed his bus so we chatted a while, and he left for skul saying he'll prolly meet us later on after he's done..

called jamal ONCE AGAIN!... and he didnt ans his bloody phone.. makes me more mad!.. haha.. when he finally answered he said he still at home coming soon... wth wth.. so, cant be bothered to sit at the bus stop for sooo long, i walked towards Queensway Shopping Centre...
walking walking walking... then bumped into my cousin, coming towards me.. she just ended work.. then not driving today so take bus.. and she missed the bus that jeremy was taking.. hahas...she said she nearly twisted her ankle running up the bridge trying to catch the bus!.. so we chatted a while, while she waited for her bus and me for, mr alwaez-late, JAMAL!.. haha! i sound soo mean ya.. but don wori.. im gonna say nice things later.. haha..
her bus came, surprisingly fast!, she left and i walked to QSC.. still not there jamal... omgosh...

hanged around the entrance there.. hahahas.. UNTIL.... a group of MATS and MINAHS walked out to the entrance there... OMFG la... of all the places!! y there!.. alamak.. im soo anti them la!.. aiyah, cannot be bothered..so then walked to the other entrance.. YES, i walked to the other entrance.. called and called and called.. oh and called jamal... until he finally arrived, like a DIVA!... 40 mins or so late!.. so i was like cb cb cb... fuck u fuck u.. bitch.. hahahas.. u noe me.. lol.. aiyah, all forgotten went inside.. and started our ROUNDS!..

OK, TODAY OFFICIALLY, I HAVE BEEN TO EVERY SPORTS SHOP OR SHOE SHOP IN QUEENSWAY AND ENTERED IT AT LEAST TWICE!!!!....

we walked... and walked... and walked..... and walked...... technically, we walked for 2 hrs!!!.. can u imagine tt!!?.. jamal gave up, he tapped out!.. he didnt wanna walk no more. but i forced him to move on. haha.. i mean i went thru EVERY single shop there is!!.. and non catches my eye!!!.. and i had a budget u noe, i mean if i sticked to it.. i could use the rest buy other things!.. haha..
we walked, yet again, and walked... and entered store after store.. i entered so many times i think if i were to tell my name to the owner, he'd be able to remember it!.. there was one time, we took a little break, drank water, bought curry puffs.. haha... sat and chatted..

and we continued with the escapade.. haha.. or torture u might say.cus the shops at queensway is realli confusing we reali dont know which one we've been into!.. haha.. so we kept gOing back and back to the same place.. hahas.. *jeremy called* and he said, prolly he'll come meet us.. so then, waited for a second opinion!!.. hahas..

hmm, but i alredy had 4 choices in mind... a red, black and white adidas(realli nice!!), a red, grey and white nike dunk(realli nice!), a converse( nice!!) and a brown adidas( quite nice).. i couldnt make up my mind la.. i like the brown adidas, but it has brown rubber soles.. made it look ugly..the rest was nice though... the converse, a little off the color coordination.. haha.. cus wad i was looking for was, a shoe that will suit wadever i will be wearing.. most my shirts are black or green or brown.. so it had to be a dark color.. hahas.. hmm, though, there was this particular nike that realli had my attention, a stitched nike!.. a baseball series.. new series.. and it was nice.. but then i thought it was like 126 bucks.. and its quite hmm, ex?.. i wanna get other things i had to remind myself..so i didnt have a second look..
cus of tt we had to keep on walking.. hahaa.. and jeremy met us... asked him to see wad's nice.. looked thru a few and i didnt like it.. like, at first there was the prompt buying, but luckily they didnt have my size!.. haha.. cool!.. so then, jeremy helped me picked out a few.. and he and jamal agreed on the one i bought.. so yeps.. i picked tt one too.. i liked the stitches.. well, ive been walking so much i didnt care how much it cost!.. but after buying realised got 15% discount on nike shoes.. so yay!!!.. haha.. so it bcame 106 bucks.. not so bad lal!.. well, even if it was 125 id still buy it!!!.. haha.

hmm, the salesguy who attended to me.. i SWEAR.. looked CHINESE!!!.. omg, even jamal and jeremy thought he was chinese!.. i swear!.. tt small eyes!.. and hair and all.. then like i was trying on a couple of sizes.. then sudd he asked me, "kau melayu eh?", "ur malay eh?".. i was like err,.. ya?... then i asked him back and he said ya.. -_-""!! hahas.. he thought i was chinese and i thought he was chinese.. no wonder he talked to me in english at first.. hais.. so then anyways, he was saying how like u shouldnt be getting sizes too big if ur not gonna grow anymore, HE SAID THAT CUS!!.. HE THOUGHT I WAS 30+ YRS !!!.. he asked me how old, i say 18.. his jaw DROPPED!.. literally!!it dropped.. he didnt believe.. he said cannot be lal!.. surely 30 plus.. then i was trying very hard to convince him that i was still a fucking teen!.. haha.. till the point he even asked his fren for his thoughts!.. haha. and his fren also said the same thing!. hahas.. WTF la.. haha.. i kept telling him im in ngee ann and my frens are also the same age.. he didnt believe.. hahas.. he thought we were all like 20 plus.. except for me 30+!!! wad was he thinking?! me?! haha.. well, then he said, gd lei, like ur 18 u look 30 go clubbing mayb ppl wont check..

i think its just that my straight hair is making me look old!!.. somehow!.. i mean its just the basic straight hair, unstyled and unwaxed!!.. but even so, he was a nice salesperson who to us.. so i mean, gd service.. or prolly commission?.. haha.. then bought the shoe and left for macs.. we were quite hungry.. chat and chilled at Macs for a while.. ate a little... and we left for home.. took 195 with jamal.. lazy to cross bridge.. haha.. reached home bout 7?..

but in any case, i wanna thnk jamal!!.. for being sooo patient with my fussy behaviour!!!.. overly patient!.. haha.. thnks man!.. i mean today was rather cool.. first tiMe hang so long.. hahas.. then on the bus had a nice chat with my fren jamal.. hahaas...

and so here i am now, writing in.. hope u enjoy reading bout ma escapades for today.!!.. today was fun!.. got new shoe!!!.. yay!!..

YAY!!!!... NEW SHOES!.. HAHA!.. nice rite?!

STITCHES!!.. nice man...

oh oh.... i might start to love nike!!!. hahahas..=))

k, have fun reading this loooong entry.. this entry was cut due to its length!!!.. too long, too tired to type!!!.. hahas..

*peace out*

this is my avenue

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

[[ this is what i want to say. ]]

ARRRGGHH!!... hahahas..
i realli wan a new shoe and bag... and lanyard.. and shirt.. and boxers!!.. wahahahaha.. basically i wan alot of things.. wahahahas.. walau.. skul starting soon!!.. cant wait!!!.. hehehe!!!.. i sooo wanna go back skul!!.. ive sat my ass up at home for the past 2 mths plus!!!!.. omg.....now it hurts.. hahahas...

k, nv go out today.. so nothing much happened... so ya.. yall take care ya.. haha.. buaizz...

*peace out*

this is my avenue

Monday, April 17, 2006

[[ this is what i want to say. ]]

hey yall..
well, here i am again, rambling and ranting about my boring life.. hahas.. well, guess tts the reason no one actually visit blogs.. or mine in this case.. hahaa..but, heck, i don give a damn.. i just feel like writing and rambling.. hahaha

but then i have nothing to say now actually... just tt hmm, WHO SAY BIG AND FAT PPL CANT dance!!!.. haha..did u watch "Do You Think You Can Dance?".. tt guy named Allan or sometink?.. he is big and fat and he made the cut for final 16!!!!.. haha.. and who says dancing is girl's tink.. tts JUST a stereotypical thinking of IMBICILS!! sometimes i find ppl or humans to be realli idiotic and shallow!!!..when u say u enjoy dancing.. or when u say u dance.. they think ur sissy.. or tt ur not "manly" enuff! HUH!?!! WTF WTF.. its realli shallow lal.. PLS LA.. u think tt wadever u do everyday is "manly" enuff? i mean.. its just dancing.... its a passion for ppl like me!.. i started off young.. in pri 3 if im not wrong.. kinda got forced into malay dance by my form teacher who happens to be the malay dance teacher.. so she needed guys so she enrolled us in.. tts where i started.. tts where my passion for dance grew.. i mean i realli enjoyed it.. my first performance was also in pri 3 malay dance.. haha.. i enjoy every bit of it!.. cus somehow for a person like me, dancing makes me feel good and happy.. ok, i might not be able to move too gracefully or wad.. but then i still dance better than half of the ppl i noe lal.. dancing is a creative and physical expression of oneself... its a gd way to show ppl how u feel.. another way is thru song, music, singing.. i happen to be passionate bout this things.. so like when i say i wanna dance or wad.. dont gimme tt face tt ur shocked.. cus apparently, guys are not supposed to dance?!! go fuck spider la.. then wad are guys supposed to do?.. go gym everyday?i hardly have company to go out!!..

so anyways tts just wad i feel ppl should not be stereotypical about .. hm, im gonna make this entry short.. ill post the lyrics to "Stand Up For Love".. k, gonna watch Grey's Anatomy now... hahas..buaizz...

STAND UP FOR LOVE (DESTINY'S CHILD)

[Beyonce]
There are times I find it hard to sleep at night
We are living through such trouble times
And every child that reaches out
For someone to hold
For one moment
They become my own

And how can I pretend that I don't know
What's going on?
When every second
And every minute
Another soul is gone

And I believe that in my lifeI will see
An end to hopelessness
Or giving up
Or suffering
Then we all stand together this one time
Then no one will get left behind
And stand up for life
Stand up
And here me sing
Stand upFor love

[Kelly]
Im inspired
And hope
For each and everyday
That's how I know that things are going to change
So how can I pretend that I don't know
What's going on?
When every second
And every minute
Another soul is gone

And I believe that in my life
I will seeAn end to hopelessness
Or giving up
Or suffering

If we all stand together this one time
Then no one will get left behind
And stand up for life
Stand up
For love

[Michelle]
And it all starts right here
And it starts right now
One person stand up man!
And the rest will follow
From the forgotten
And From the Unloved

Im gonna sing this song,

And I believe
That in my life I will see
An end to hopelessness
Or giving up
Or suffering

If we all stand together this one time
Then no one will get left behind
And stand upfor lifestand upand sing
Stand upFor love

this song is realli beautiful and the MV is just great!!..

*peace out*

this is my avenue

Sunday, April 16, 2006

[[ this is what i want to say. ]]

another song that i found to be reali meaningful..this is why i love ballads and i listen to lots of ballads.. cus the lyrics are realli meaningful.. unlike other music like punk or wadever.. its pure rubbish.. so anywyas, happy drowning in the lyrics.. have fun.. =)).. this is also for u.. =) this song is just beautiful.. go dw..

NOW AND FOREVER (CAROLE KING)

Now and forever, you are a part of me
And the memory cuts like a knife
Didn't we find the ecstasy, didn't we share the daylight
When you walked into my life

Now and forever, I'll remember
All the promises still unbroken
And think about all the words between us
That never needed to be spoken

We had a moment, just one moment
That will last beyond a dream, beyond a lifetime
We are the lucky ones
Some people never get to do all we got to do
Now and forever, I will always think of you

Didn't we come together, didn't we live together
Didn't we cry together
Didn't we play together, didn't we love together
And together we lit up the world

I miss the tears, I miss the laughter
I miss the day we met and all that followed after
Sometimes I wish I could always be with you
The way we used to do

Now and forever, I will always think of you
Now and forever, I will always be with you

this is my avenue

[[ this is what i want to say. ]]

k, found this beautiful song from March Anthony.. gonna post the lyrics for u to wander at.. i dedicated this to yall... esp a special someone.. =))

MY BABY YOU (MARC ANTHONY)

As I look into your eyes
I see all the reasons why
My life's worth a thousand skies
You're the simplest love I've known
And the purest one I'll own
Know you'll never be alone

My baby you
Are the reason I could fly
And 'cause of you I don't have to wonder why
Baby you
There's no more just getting by
You're the reason I feel so alive

Though these words I sing are true
They still fail to capture you
As mere words can only do
How do I explain that smile
And how it turns my world around
Keeping my feet on the ground

My baby you
Are the reason I could fly
And 'cause of you I don't have to wonder why
Baby you
There's no more just getting by
You're the reason I feel so alive

Oh, I will soothe you if you fall
I'll be right there if you call
You're my greatest love of all

You are the reason I could fly
And 'cause of you I don't have to wonder why
Baby you
There's no more just getting by
You're the reason I feel so alive
Arianna, I feel so alive...

this is my avenue

Friday, April 14, 2006

[[ this is what i want to say. ]]

hey arses..
hmm, i didnt go anywhere today.. hahas.. hmm, stay at home.. cus actually im quite broke.. hahas.. cus like im not working.. due to some fucking circumstances.. not im not able or wad lal.. but people nv ask me go along with them.. *hint hint* so cannot do anytink mah..

so anyways, was looking thru my fren's frenster just now..hmm, he was my junior in sec skul.. but then like now he is totally different.. like he clubs alot now lal.. ok, i mean its not a sin for him to club(he aint muslim), but then like he's younger than me.. and he has tt flirtatious kinda personality.. so i think probably he goes there for he chicks.. then, i saw his frenster pics and the gals there... some of them WERE HOOOOOTTTT!!!.. they were the EPITOME of HOTNESS!!.. seriously!.. i mean it.. somemore with tt super short flowy minis they were wearing! that can be ahem* seen at every sitting angle.. haha.. OMFG .. esp there was this one girl... sialal.. hahas..so then hmm, naturally, i went to look for her frenster.. vuala.. found it.. and OMFG i was fucking shocked!! her frenster background were pictures of her posing!!.. OMG OMG!!!.. im telling u... omg.. high siol!!.. HAHA!.. i mean she has tt realli realli cute sexy face.. and tt BODY!! walau..
to there were 3 self potraits.. like professional picture taking kinda tink.. so then, one was where she was standing face her back..*gag* omg... her body eh... is like god's best creation sia.. i tink god must certainly have spent a little more time on her! cus she was P-E-R-F-E-C-T! nice body, realli cute face and everything else.. k k, so to continue.. so, in those pics.. she was wearing like a SERIOUSLY MINI shorts.. ive nv seen anything shorter than tt.. so short till u can have a peek of her behind.. hahahas!!.. ok, i noe i sound like a sex-psycho guy or wadever.. but im not trying to get on girls nerves or the make the guys high.. but its a little guilty pleasure of life to be able to see a realli gd looking girl.. somemore, ur talking bout in S'PORE!.. so don think im sick or comment that i sound sick or need help.. haha.. i aint sick.. im aight!

k im just saying truthfully.. how many times have u walked down the road and saw someone realli realli drop dead gorgeous?! u can hardly find girls who is realli cute and pretty.. i tink all the past winners of the ms singapore universe were like bleahz!!.. i mean ive seen seriously prettier girls than half of them who made it through! and im not even getting to the winners yet.. the winners are no better than the ORDINARY s'porean girls man.. i mean c'mon !.. can they like at least choose someone who at least looks decent enuff and worthy enuff to go to the actual Miss Universe Pageant?! have u seen the past winners of MU?! they are representation of total beauty!!..
esp the miss australia who won in recent yrs!!.. omfg, she has GOLDEN color skin.. and im not exaggerating, i seriously mean she has golden color skin and her face.. perfectly sculptured into perfection.. and her face has tt thing that is called the "golden triangle" or the golden ratio? meaning, the epitome of the "perfect" face.. basically is a facial symmetry based on the golden ratio of 1:1.618..symmetrical pair of eyes, proportional nose and thick, vivid lips.. so, for those who actually have this qualities.. ur HOT!.. haha

if u come to think about it.. tt is rare.. another gd example of utter beauty is aishwarya rai!.. the former miss universe is gorgeous man.. total fan!.. hahas.. but in any case.. celebs take very very gd care of themselves.. and my favourite one, miss Mariah Carey, is one example.. living on a $2,500 a day expenses JUST to make her beautiful..and a gd job at it they did.. haha..obviously one of the more beautiful singers!.. haha..can u imagine spending $2,500 a day.. omg.. hahas.. and its said that in the event that she goes out for dinner or sometink.. she will change her dress 3 times in a day!.. hahas.. she will come in something nice, and go home and return with everything totall different!.. including her jewellery!.. now, TTS wad i call living the high-life!!.. haha..

and let's not start with my other idol icon, michael jackson!.. haha... he can spend millions on a day of shopping!.. hahas.. and for those of u who think he is going bankrupt?! sori to shatter ur dreams.. hahas.. he aint gonna be bankrupt!.. for ur information, he owns 50% of the precious and sought after Beatles catalogue.. and Sony music owns another 50%.. its a very pricey collection.. and mj can sell half of his share for millions of dollars.. and tt will save him from bankruptcy.. i read all this on an online news and general knowledge.. i aint making it up.. but im realli happy !.. mj rocks !.. haha.. and he also has other prized collections.. its a fact that he has closed down part of his neverland ranch cus hmm, he didnt pay the workers and to avoid a law suit he closed parts of it down.. and he is living happily i bahrain with the prince of bahrain playing friend and host to him!.. on the way to collaborate with 50 cent on a new song.. i think he could use tt little boost back into the music front.. so let's hope mj will make a remarkable comeback like the comeback queen herself, one and only mariah carey!!.. hahas..

so hmm, this post dedicated to beauty and music.. haha.. ill write again one day.. till then... buaizz..

*peace out*

this is my avenue

Thursday, April 13, 2006

[[ this is what i want to say. ]]

puhey fuckers..
hais, just feeling fucked up la.. i getting more frustrated being at home now.. i tink wad jamal said is true lal.. like nowadays, we're getting very annoyed, very angry and very pissed very easily.. i dont know why also lal.. but then its just lidat.. seriously lal.. im very fucked up mood now.. i was ok just now in he morning and the afternoon.. but once my mom comes home this late or wad.. i sudd fell very angry.. cus like the problem im having concerns her...

im angry.. just angry..angry at everyone, and everything.. u noe how like hmm, last time.. my frens would come to me if they have a problem or they just need a listening ear..and sometimes they need "counselling" or sometink.. and i tink personally lal.. i find myself doing tt profession in the long run.. i mean, i like hearing and listening to people.. and i realli feel a great sense of satisfaction when i help them.. haha..
and now i tink im the one who needs counselling.. seriously.. i get very fed up and pissed fucking easily.. even the slightest irritating pest around me can piss me off man!.. seriously sucks.. but i kinda like this feeling..

although, one theory i have is that.. hmm, the people around me, my surrounding, is the reason and the cause of this increasing stress or persuading anger that is slowly opening itself up.. people just dont know me tt well.. they dont know that if im angry, i fucking mean it... itll be the epitome of a crazy bastard.. i almost beat the hell out of my sister when she was in sec 2.. and now.. there is alwaez tt little feeling in me that i wanna kill somebody... i mean it.. im not joking.. i mean, im talking bout killing people here..so i cant possibly be joking..

most of the times even when people call me on my hp or hse phone i get angry.. i wonder y the fuck must u call and make a peaceful and quiet place be so noisy with all the ringing..i cannot surcumb to my anger too easily or it will overpower the peace or the sane mind in me.. but then at the same time.. its hard to avoid this feeling..

hmm, ok, on to other things i wanna talk bout here.. so we think that we are a democratic country.. to set things straight before i continue ranting, i noe of the new law or thing that says its not legal to blog any political tink or sometink anymore.. and im not here to do just tt.. i don tink that this beautiful country (see how i didnt specify any particular country to avoid legal suits) that we're living in is totally democratic.. i mean they say a freedom of speech or so u thought.. but then, we cant even blog our feelings and expressions.. freedom of speech my behind ( im trying to be polite here)..

and we say equality? the only equality i see is if that u either have the greens or be lean...
don fucking understand wad im talking bout?
im trying to say.. that PEOPLE only treat u fairly.. if u have 2 things... MONEY and LOOKS.. money can bring u the world.. and don give me crap bout u don need money for anything cus living here.. everything can cost u.. there is nothing here (here can be anywhere) u can take for free..

and looks? gimme a break u fucking assholes... i noe ok, fine, i might be horizontally inclined, or in short fat, but i till have feelings lal u mother fuckers.. u see ar... ok, u might make fun of us, me or whoever that is big.. and we might be laughing on the outside.. BUT trust me.. inside, we're/ im cursing the fucking shit at u... TRUST ME! cursing the fucking shit at u... sometimes, on the bus, when like we ( the big ppl) sit on the bus chairs.. can u guys pls be kind and sensitive enuff to at least sit next to us?! and at least give us some face.. u fuckers will sit next to us only if we're the last resort or unless we're the last humans on earth.. and cus of u matha fuckers, other people look at us..and think we're unconsiderate bastards who wont offer a seat to anyone... wtf rite...i don even noe wad to say lal... its all discrimination for the people who look different! all u lean mean fucking bastards out there.. don think tt just cus we're fat and all we are probably gonna die earlier.. but guess wad?! the chances of u lean people getting a clogged up artery and all is also quite high u freaking bastards.. so much for equal opportunity and treatment!

id give u one example.. jobs.. let's see.. its almost impossible to find a job temperary or permanent if ur big! like any uniform will hardly fit u.. ive worked at a hotel bfore.. and the only department i can work at is tt particular one cus the other departments, the there is no uniform size.. i don get it.. like halo?!!!.. u son of bitches and matha fuckers... so wad?! only the thin and anorexic people should work and we big sized people should do wad?! stay at home and fuck ourselves?!! the world is a totally bitch place.. if ur big or fat.. people look at u DIFFERENTLY.. like as if ur a god forsaken alien la!.. we're still fucking humans u matha fuckers!! its just tt stereotypical sentiments that fat people cannot do certain stuff.. they say, fat people cant dance no shit.. but hey, guess wad, i tink i CAN dance better than most of u people out there man!.. so yeah, suck on tt!
go rot in hell lal.. SHALLOW thinking only shows one thing bout u... ur brain is too fragile to process too much facts and truths so u depend and u believe on the normal-people thinking about life..

we might not be fast in reaction time or wad shit.. but who gives a shit.. and some people think wad... they wanna find job.. but nv call me cus scared later i cannot tahan the job?! fuck tt shit la.. pls lal.. which job is not tough?! i noe lal.. u might be concerned with me.. but halo.. ive been living 18 yrs of my life without ur help.. so ur help now doesnt change anything! and worst some job that says BILINGUAL speaking person... the BILINGUAL actually means u must be able to speak ENGLISH and CHINESE.. so many times alredy tt happens.. it was even brought up in parliament and all.. i tink its not fair for companies to have tt kinda rule lal.. i mean.. we, the non-chinese speaking people can also learn.. i mean im more interesting in chinese things than my own race.. its just lidat.. but how bout the other people who cant speak chinese.. does tt mean they cant work just cus they're monolingual?

anyways, this is just a part of my thoughts for the day.. i tink ill continue with the other fucking thoughts i have about this fucked up world.. and the fucked up ppl living in it!!..

so till then fuckers.. i cant be bothered if u wanna read my blog anot lal.. im just writing to vent my anger and utter frustrations.. and at least i have somewhere to talk things out..

so fuck off...

i don ask for much.. just equal treatment and better judgement..

*fuck out*

this is my avenue

[[ this is what i want to say. ]]

hello readers.. hopefully.. haha

so anyways, hmm, today went back to ngee ann poly.. walau.. they making sooo many new changes for those FRESHIES who is enrolling this year lal!.. first was the bus stop.. they made like a multi-million dollar looking bus stop with a proposed line of shops and all.. and now they are re-making all the np co-op shops sia.. and the one in the enginnering buildings was realli nice and big sia!!.. then the spectacle shop was moved to the IT co-op next to it.. so it has plenty of room man!.. then the counter was like a model runway kinda thing sia.. nice!!.. haha..

so anyways, met up with jamal and karthig at the atrium.. jamal having problems with his laptop.. cus some virus shit that keep making the pop ups come out.. then met, and went to 050404.. tt is the location.. ok, for those who don have any fucking idea wad im talking bout..
05-(block) 04-(level) 04-(room number)... wahahaha..
tts just the ngee ann tink.. took quite long to get use to it.. i mean i cant remember numbers for crap ok!.. haha..most of the time wad i do is.. find a classmate or call someone in the morning and find out where the class is.. its realli troublesome lal.. stupid sia.. hahaha..

k, so then hmm, we sent it over to the service centre.. there, we found out tt we need 4.6 GIGABYTE of space lal!!.. for tt stupid programme!.. bloody fucker!.. 4.6 gig lei!!.. where the hell to dump my stuff!. i only had like wad, hmm, less than 1 gig lal!.. then i had to delete NFS:Underground2 sia!!.. wtf!! wtf man..

jamal also had his laptop so called "fixed" by the technician there..haha.. so then he also managed to install it lal.. so then while waiting we went to the library.. bought my fav drink now, honey red milk tea!, and bought 2 hotdogs.. i was reali reali reali hungry ok, i hadn't had my lunch.. cus i woke up late.. and i straight away went to meet up with them.. after drinking tt delicious drink.. we went to rent a movie.. Hellboy.. i haven watch tt movie yet.. so it was rather interesting.. i like the x-men kinda movies.. x-men fan lal!..

we watched till bout around 5?.. then jamal's mom called then he had to immediately leave lal.. so sad sia tt guy.. dono wad to say lal.. let's just say, enjoy the freedom u guys are getting.. haha.. waited for ben to collect his then we can go so he can help us take care of our stuff.. got back and continued with the movie.. then watched it till 530 lidat.. then SUDDENLY!

**BLACK!!!**

the lights in the library off-ed!!... and it wasss SOOO FUCKING dark lal!.. my heart jumped out sia.. i thought blackout.. omg, somemore.. library sia.. omg, so dark.. they ran and left me there.. i ran oso lal.. left my things there!.. my life more impt k! then ran, and found out from the auntie tt actually they closing alredy.. say wad.. " u guys nv hear the announcement ar?!"
we were like "hallo?? we were too engrossed with the movie.. with the ear thingy one our ears.. u tink can hear anytink?!"

anyways, it wasnt our fault!.. she was supposed to check on whether there are still anyone in the library or not.. so it was actually their fault.. haha.. so, after being scared out of my wits.. haha.. we went off..

me and karthig headed off to queensway shopping centre.. he wanted to survey some shoes.. haha.. so i also followed lal... cus i oso wanna see some shoes..hahaha.. lol.. then walked around.. see some shirts and stuff.. now im like officially addicted to billabong stuff!.. ahaha.. isit very chinese or very ah beng kind? cus seriously i don care!.. ahahaha. its nice lal!.. billabong the design very nice sia.. wahahas... so im planning to get billabong bag and lanyards.. aiyah.. but now broke.. don even noe whether can go out this fri with them anot..im broke..
anyways, i needa get a new shoe.. actually a new everytink lal!.. pathetic.. damn lal..

how id wish i was working.. there are some dark and hidden agendas at home now.. and i don realli wanna talk to my mom.. mayb say hi and byes and stuff.. just some painful stuff lal.. only one person noes lal.. but k, i dont wanna talk bout it here..

then walked around.. then hmm, left bout 7+.. karthig was goona meet his mom at serangoon.. i have to kinda go my auntie place.. haha.. so then we left.. took 195 around.. and thig dropped at queenstown..

so then here i am now.. at home.. and writing in.. haha.. today hmm. quite tiring.. and hungry.. cus the fact that i slp at 4 am the nite bfore.. and i only ate 2 hotdog breads and a drink for the whole day.. and i just had my "dinner-cum supper" at 12 30am just now.. cannot tahan too hungry.. haha.. yeah.. i don tink i wanna go out this few days.. prolly sit my ass at home?.. hopefully can get thru this few days. ill be very bored though.. nvm lal.. im broke also..

so till i write again.. buaizz. haha..

*peace out*

this is my avenue

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

[[ this is what i want to say. ]]

hEy YALL!!!..

hmm, as u can see for urself.. a new blog skin.. im re-inventing myself.. hahah.. my blog.. i wanna write.. i feel nice when i write.. sometimes though.. haha.. i will pause my writing here and there.. but ill write eventually.. so anyways, hmm, i chose this skin out of the many i picked cus it was the only one tt was a lil on the dark side.. and it has those other links thingy.. i like tt.. but im not too sure lal... whether tis will look too ermm, feminine?.. but then the person whom did it said it was meant for both sexes.. ermm, so i don realli noe lal..anyways, gimme ur comments.. but don expect me to change to fast just cus u commented.. cus its quite hard to do.. as i just found out.. and im proud of myself!. haha.. i tried and error and vuala!.. hahaha..

WRITE ME COMMENTS AIGHTS!

anyways today i went out with xristina and jeremy.. haha.. it was a CRAZZIIEE day.. hahaha.. literally.. haha.. they laughed all the way.. BUT im lidat myself!. haha.. just tt prolly im not used to showing my crazzie side to anyone.. hahaha.. but heck, we sang britney spears songs when we walked at taka!. haha..

so anyways ermm, jeremy called me quite late lal.. like 5 plus lidat.. then say whether wanna meet up with them.. so i promised id go out with him since i so called pang sei-ed him yesterday so i was aights sure.. hahaha.. anyways i wasnt doing anytink at home.. so it was better if id went out rite.. haha.. so then, went to far east.. then walked all the way to paragon, then to taka, then to wisma, then to cine, then to heeren and finally to PS!!! hahaha.. omg, we walked or should i say religiously walked around the whole of orchard!.. haha.. but it was fun lal.. we were laughing all the way.. haha.. jeremy and xristina were shopping for some stuff.. since skul is around the corner.. haha.. and jeremy had a real load off his chest.. he managed to get 2 places in both ngee ann and singapore poly!.. and now he's spoilt for choice!.. haha.. so, then we were walking around and they were looking for pants or shirts,etc etc.. and i saw cassian and his gal, amanta isit?.. at wisma, but i didnt think he saw me.. hahaha.. i enjoyed walking around but i realli like taking neoprints!.. haha.. esp the one at cine!!..

ok, tell u the truth, i didnt even noe there was a neoprint shop at cine ok!!.. hahah.. i mean i didnt noe there was a level 9 there.. haha.. after finding out there was, i wanna go there again!.. the shop was soo gd lal.. firstly, it was in english!.. haha.. phew!.. then secondly, they had props for u to wear and put on.. hehe.. so funny.. they forced me to wear a sheep's clothes thing.. and being the sport tt i am(ahem!) i put it on!.. haha.. it kinda looked cute on me? wahahaha.. also, they laminate for u ur pics, for free!.. tts sooo gd lal.. and the people there were super frenly.. i thought tt guy working there was a gangster.. haha.. and oh ya, tt wasnt the only neoprint we took, we took 2 more at heeren!.. haha

so then, we walked to PS to buy contact lenses for jeremy and xristina.. and we went to eat at Macd's.. we bought food, ate and talked for more than an hr.. time realli passes when ur having fun.. hahahas.. oh ya, like when we were inside Macd's rite.. there was this black(african-american tourist) woman with her children who kept looking at me.. i thought there was sometink on my face.. haha.. erm, so i gave a smile back.. but then they had actually meant to give us a hmm, the rice thing?. the rice burger chicken thingy.. i don noe the name lal.. haha.. it was my first time tryin and heck be my last! the chicken is nice.. but the rice tink, sucks man. tastes soo oriental.. haha.. but in any case, thnks tourist!.. have a nice time in singapore.. i hope.. =S

then we walked to the bus stop and said our gd byes.. and i set for home.. hahaha.. had a great time today.. thnks both of ya!.. hahaha.. till i write in again.. take care yall!!...

buaizzz...

oh p.s btw, there is this shop at the food tink in taka that sells, get this, prata hotdog!.. haha.. like literally the hotdog in a prata.. lol!!... hahaha.. and it was delicious!!.. and its halal don wori.. hahaa.. so go there try ya!.. hehe

*peace out*

this is my avenue

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

[[ this is what i want to say. ]]

hey.. hello yall.. so im free and writing in again.. hahas..

well, yesterday was a tiring and quite a long day... reached home at bout 1040? from east coast park.. i kinda went alone.. cus i BEGGED, literally begged certain frens of mine to go, but being how incredibly stubborn they are.. they said no! i was kinda pissed lal.. like everytime they wan to go out im all for it.. alwaez saying ok and yes.. but then im desperate lal.. cus i didnt noe who was coming to the bbq.. the only person i knew besides the host, syamil, another pri skul gd fren of mine, oso wasnt going cus he said he no money or sometink.. wad i noe is that firdaus people i dont realli noe.. he invited his secondary skul peeps.. and his cousin who came quite late.. the only person who was cool to go was jeremy lal.. jeremy alwaez very cool.. hahaa.. anytink oso anytink one.. but then i told him later if he the only chinese there then they talked and all, it wouldnt be nice lal.. so in the end i told him nvm lal.. i rather go alone.. haha.. sori man, ask alredy then say no need go.. hahaah

when i asked firdaus wad time was the bbq tt time he said 3pm till the next morning.. so when i was still at home at 4 pm i seriously thought i was late and that later if everyone come alredy.. then die.. i come in late.. so paiseh.. hahaha.. so i rushed there in a cab lal.. my cab driver drove like crazy! he drove so fast..it was such a waker!.. haha

then, when i reached at east coast park, i kept calling him to come and fetch me or sometink lal.. like cus i thought there'd be like 10 or more people.. then he said just 5 people are there for now.. just come.. ok, so gathered my courage (i was nervous ok, if i was the only non-hendersonian there!!) and walked there lal.. hmm, ok, the only person i knew was firdaus and another fren of his who,happened to be my cousin.. i don realli talk to tt particular cousin of mine.. haha.. but then nvm lal.. heck care.. ok, so i didnt noe the other 3.. for the first 15 mins or 30 mins it was a wierd feeling.. i was just sitting alone.. firdaus cant reali entertain me lal.. cus his gf was there..yesh, he HAS a gf.. who by chance has quite a gd body.. he's a lucky bastard.. he lost so much weight lal!.. last time he and me no diff one.. now he rather slim and tt managed to help him capture her.. hahaah.. she had a nice body.. but not realli a 10/10 face.. u get wad i mean?..not an ugly face.. just now 10/10.. well, heck, the bodyyhh baby!.. hahah..

ok so then, there was this pair of siblings, whom in my opinion was the FRENLIEST mats ive ever seen!!, like super frenly.. cus like at first i was just sitting there.. not doing anytink.. so i decided to get my arse up and help them start off the cooking.. hahaha.. and i was kinda surprised, cus they talked and joked and laughed like they've known me for such a long time.. it was cool la..then we all were joking and laughing and all.. haha.. cus there was this BIG tent that firdaus brought along.. i heard he was planning to stay till thursday for god knows y!.. haha

so then like, everytime firdaus and the gf were to go in.. we'd be like, "arh arh, nie nak baca doa panjang lal nie... ".. and then we'd laugh.. hahah.. we even kinda made a policy for the host..cook and eat for urself.. hahaha.. but it was all just for fun lal.. we werent realli tt bad. haha..

btw, have i told u, that FIRDAUS bought sooooo much foood!!.. he bought 10 KG of CHICKEN WINGS!! 5 or 6 KG of BEEF AND MUTTON!! 6 packs of hotdogs, god knows how many KG of fishballs and fish fillets.. and tt doesnt include the 3 TRAYS of mee and one tray of curry puffs that came later on in the evening!!

im guessing tts y he wanted us to bring frens!.. BUT im sori, MY FRENS ARE ALL TOOO BUSY!

and its quite cheap lal.. cus we only contributed 5 bucks per pax.. and there was soo much food.. i was sooooo full at the end of the day i felt like passing out.. i felt kinda bad, for paying so little yet having eaten so much! and i felt quite bad.. cus im guessing he had spent quite alot.. cus not realli alot ppl turned up.. prolly like around 15 people? or sometink?.. well, tt was still more than my sec skul class bbq..

we rented bikes.. and had a ride around for a while, while waiting for the rest of his frens to come..and what a small world, i knew some of his frens, like one fren was from my pri skul too... then hmm, 3 or 4 of them were from ngee ann poly.. 2 from nursing and one i sometimes see in skul, sulaiman.. and he knew my circle of frens too.. so it was all a big connection frenster kinda thing.. haha..from the time i reached, 5 plus, till 930 we were cooking and still eating lal.. tts y i said i almost felt like passing out.. i was alredy on my knees lal.. going to throw up realli soon.. haha.. but it was worth the money.. and the food was not tt bad... hehe..although we were constantly short of stuff, like chilli sauce and ice and water!.. haha.. our "neighbour" were a grp of poly people im guessin cus their bald lecturers came.. haha..while we were eating and cooking, the host, was having such a romantic time with his gf!!.. hahaha.. somemore wear bikini lei.. haaha... then they went for long strolls in the night air... and all.. so romantic.. made me wander when i will be able to do tt with a special someone... he is one lucky person.. hahaha.. i mean to have someone love him back.. wahaha.. unlike me hor.. pathetic.. hahahah

we constantly had fire and smoke battle with our neighbour..who was soo jiwang (malay for emo) hahaha.. esp the the celebrity chefs we had, urs truly (ahem!) and abang maman..wahaha.. at first i thought i was the only non-hendersonian there.. but then i eventually found out tt abang maman, saiful, was also a Queens student!.. Queenstown tt is!!.. hahaha..when i told him i was also a Queens student, Queensway! we were high-fiv-ing and stuff.. hahaha then we were like saying no wonder lal.. the Queens students can cook one. hahaaha.. it was quite a relieve.. but then i had NO idea he wasnt their skul mate.. cus like he looked soo comfortable and close to them.. he was realli frenly sia..

klal, i have to admit.. the day wasnt realli tt bad.. i mean, only a couple of hrs where i felt like an outsider.. besides tt it was all cool.. haha. very tired though when i got home, and i STINKED! of bbq smoke and fire and food!! had to take a loong deserving bath.. haha

klal, till i write in again.. buaizz.. and btw, sori there are no pics.. cus i forgot to bring my damn camera!.. haha..

*peace out*

this is my avenue

Monday, April 10, 2006

[[ this is what i want to say. ]]

hmm, k.. ive to admit.. im not an avid blogger.. haha.. see the last date on my last entry was like 2nd March.. hahah..its more than a mth since ive updated.. well, now im here again.. anyways.. im quite bored of my blog skin.. i need HELP!.. i dono how to change blog skin.. hahaha.. just waiting for yana to help me..

but anyways i don think anyone is realli interested to read the boring life of me, t.fiQue.. im guessing they're better off reading other blogs.. but i just wanna get some things off my mind.. so here's the place usually ppl go to clear their mind bout stuff.. even though other people can read or wad.. heck.. do i care.. hahah..

this past mth ive been getting very annoyed and easily aggitated by anyone and everyone.. esp a few of my frens... see how i said frens not clique.. (clique is the REGULAR group of frens u HANG out with) dono lal.. just gOt one make species making me very mad sometimes.. and not only one lal... there are more homosapiens making me fucking pissed sometimes.. personally lal.. and this applies to my supposedly closest of close buddies.. like i tink im the only fucking one TRYING to make the effort of TRYING to get us together to go out.. either they don wanna do wat u wanna do or they just plain annoying that they cant be bothered to go out with u.. HALO?!!!! ur talking bout me here lei.. u tink i can give a fucking care to the world?!.. having enuff probs myself u noe.. and the best part.. they ALWAEZ wan to hang or go to places NEARER to their place.. the reason? better, no ez link card.. so easier can go home.. then im the foolish arse who actually goes there to meet this FRENS of mine.. omg, wad was i tinking. then if nv meet up.. they go blabbering about how they miss u, how u nv call them, or how u fucking forget about them.. but im sori to shatter ur dreams, but in reality i TRIED ok! dare u to admit i don TRY to call or i DONT TRY to ask out! fuck off man.. ok, even though there are a few frens who do ask to hang out or wad lal.. and thnks.. realli appreciate those kind of frens sometimes..

sometimes i realli feel pathetic.. i feel alone .. seriously.. i realli feel like ive got no frens sometimes.. i mean.. frens go out rite?.. they hang out.. or something.. sometimes i feel abandoned by my frens lal... some find work oso like nv call when i specifically say bfore hand "call me, go together"..this doesnt apply to only my frens lal... some other parties also lidat.. cant be bothered sometimes.. i mean, ok seriously, nowadays i don tink i have any frens except for one.. cus i don go anywhere, no one ever calls me(mayb some rare ones) and i don realli chat with any of them online.. so tt leaves me with only one real fren i guess.. one whom without fail rain or shine will talk to me... sometimes i feel she is the only fren ive got.. it sounds pathetic.. cus in secondary skul i had loads of frens.. did i change somehow? change to the point that my frens find it an embarrasment to hang wit me?.. i don tink i changed.. but i noe THEY sure did change!..
k, let me ask u all sometink.. does the factor age make u a less fun and a more serious person? i mean like must u be soo serious just cus ur 18? or must u change just cus ur older now? it doesnt make sense sometimes when ppl say, ur so old yet so childish and all..well, u noe sometink? at least im still the same as i was a few yrs ago.. not like some ppl living in denial...

today firdaus, my primary skul close fren, is making a bbq and has asked me to come lal.. and he asked me to bring frens along.. hmm, so i needa call some frens later.. but i noe most of them surely cant make it lal.. so no point calling some.. hahah but if i go alone itll be a lil wierd though, cus he invited his ITE frens and sec skul frens..then ill be alone there.. so im HOPING someone can come along.. haha.. lol..

nth much gonna happen anytime now.. just tt i needa go back skul to install some programming shit for one of the stupid module.. and today is actually my cousin's bdae.. so HAPPY 5TH BDAE LIL CUZ!!.hahah.. lol.. see ya later..

btw, i find tt ngee ann poly system of making us rank and choose IS modules is utterly ridiculous! first they ask us to rank our IS modules and "lifted" our HOPES high up.. cus like we will be going like oh, wad u choose?.. i chose french, oh no, u chose spanish?.. spanish is fun!, french is cool!.. u get wad i mean?.. we'll be talking lidat... these ppl in the skul are so smart at getting us all pumped up at wanting to get sometink WE'RE INTERESTED in.. BUT somehow, the system screws man.. then like most of the people i noe DIDNT get wad they wanted.. but instead, they got some stupid module called entrepeneurship and the law!!.. HALO?! do i look like i wanna take sometink i can hardly pronounce?! wth.. and the other one, and the MORE interesting sounding one is Science and Technology and the World.. and tt is the more interesting sounding one u noe.. can u imagine wad's the worst one?!.. wth lal.. now i seriously cant be bothered..i personally feel they got a stupid system of doing things.. they wanna be all wireless and all computerised and stuff.. well reality check, its not working?! hahaha.. mayb u guys should try to do sometink bout it.. hahah..

hmm, im getting more emo nowadays, cus i think cus we talk much less.. i got no mood to come online tt early now.. like i come in very late sometimes.. like 9 plus.. considering that i alwaez come in like 6 plus or 7 a few mths back.. hahahas.. but in any case, i still .........................
=))

till i write again.. take care yall.. bye

*peace out*

friends are like the sun. when they're rise, they shine and brighten up ur life. but once they set on u, they leave u in the darkness and coldness of nite.