hey hey!.. haha..
yeah, i know i haven been blogging for such a loong time.. well i dont even know if people ever read my blog.. anyways, ALOT ALOT has happened over this period of time.. in fact too much for me to swallow.. its like everything bad or gd is happening at the same time and im, confused!..

i haven realli been attending lectures this past few wks.. esp the 9 am classes.. i dont know y.. but i guess i feel like there is no point of studying and all if i dont get rewarded for doing so well or for even going to poly.. i dont ask for much, but at least can they (my parents) give me some acknowledgement or something to tell me that, oh OKAY, ur in poly, so gd?! or something lidat?!
its realli stupid and i feel under-appreciated..

usually for me, i would bottle up my feelings and listen and consult others on what to do with their problems and try in my best abilities to help them solve it.. but tt's the problem, i bottle things up too much and when it gets too overwhelming, it'll get ugly.. i alwaez tell my frens, or people to alwaez find comfort in other people, dont keep ur feelings to urself and stuff.. but then im the one doing it.. and a few wks ago if im not wrong, i kinda had a "breakdown"?? i noe it sounds wierd.. a guy, having breakdown.. but then at tt point of time, there was a sudden mix of all feelings! sadness, anger, fear, suicidal... it was realli overwhelming, to the point that i kinda started to tear up (not cry, tear..).. i didnt know what to do.. the mix of emotions and feelings was like taking over my senses and my freaking brain... i couldnt think straight and stuff.. one moment i was full of anger to the point of murder and killing people, then out of the sudden a burst of sadness and fear... not knowing what to do, i called jamal.. in a way im lucky to have a best fren like him... i mean, in his own way, he can get me to think straight no matter wad.. i know, i have other frens to pour all these to.. but i guess its a lil diff telling someone of the same gender.. i think prolly im not realli of a let-me-ur-shoulder-to-cry-on kinda person.. but ill gladly lend my shoulder to any of my frens for them to cry on.. so anyways, FYI, im alrite now.. much anger and sadness have subsided but a lil still lingers within me..in any case, im aite..

love.. what do people think about when the word love is said?.. to some, its just plain sex and one night stands.. to others its a life long commitment.. people alwaez say love is build over time and not something that u can feel immediately.. but it still amazes me to see people knowing other people less than a wk and sudd they're together.. u cant say its fate.. ull still need time to know ur fated to be with that person.. it nv seize to amaze me how immature people can be sometimes.. the person who understands them the better is not even looked at while a person barely knowing their name is now they're "special one"..
infactuations? desperate? PERHAPS.

went to catch Ngee Ann Idol on friday.. went there to support my junior matthew liu, also formerly from QSS.. anyways, he gave us the tix.. so hmm, supposedly to start at 630, but knowing its ngee ann poly, it ended up starting at around 7 plus.. haha.. went with jamal, saw audrey there with matt's pri skul fren.. then chat a lil and went in together.. audrey and jamal couldnt stay late.. so they left after the first few pair performances.. the single performances were after.. k so, hmm, matt did a real gd job at singing.. however, there is alweaz room for improvements, even for professionals.. but he did gd.. so anyways, some girl named tiffany won.. but i guess, for me, the highlight of the whole show was not the idol performances, but the special guest performance.. ok, the guy won the Teen Icon 2005.. his name i think is nathan hartono.. k so here's the gig, im telling u, i swear to u, HE CAN SING!!!!.. he can not only SING he can SAANGG man... he has got this michael buble crooner voice going on for him.. and he sang a michael buble number, Moondance.. and i swear to u, there couldnt be a better and more perfect rendition of tt song!.. i was WOWed... he sang 3 songs, and all realli showed his jazz prowess! and guess wad, he's only 15!.. having michael buble's crooning voice!.. fucking lucky!.. he did the best job of the nite, we all agreed that, IF he were in the NP Idol competition, he'd won hands down!
k so, if yall see his CD in shops can tell me?! haha.. im kinda hooked to michael buble nowadays.. and Moondance is a real nice song!.. ask me for it!.. haha..

hmm, so i guess ive kinda summarized certain things.. i haven been doing much, except for slacking in skul and stuff.. so dont blame me for a boring life.. anyways, its back to basics people!!.. hahah

take care yall!.. bye!..

*peace out*