this is my avenue

i dont really wanna talk about it, but, arguments at home are almost a daily affair.. its hard to be happy and concentrate sometimes.. that's y i love to be in sch.. where i can run from the problems that actually exists.. in my facade of all smiles, laughter and happiness.. hence, i seek solace in my frens.. =S

also, i have to say it here and now.. i HATE it when some ppl ALWAYS think they're right.. and still dare to argue it.. i mean its ok if ur egoistic and u want to be right all the freaking time.. but not at other ppl's expense la! esp when they always try to argue that they are right, it makes me feel stupid u know! like as though im not knowledgable enough to know if its right or wrong.. esp when u put me down sometimes, i feel inferior! and that sucks! and freaking especially when im infront of my frens and that happens.. tts y i get mad sometimes when ppl get smart on me! if you think, you're worthy of putting me down in an inferior place, think bfore u do that.. cus though i am not as smart as u, im knowledgable in other aspects..

ok, anyways, sometimes i wonder to myself, why are confessions soo hard to do..?

i really salute those who have stepped up to the plate and gathered enough courage to tell their significant others of how they feel, cus its really not easy!
in fact, its easier for me to listen and advice others on their love-life, rather than fulfilling to my own believes.. i mean, why do i still hesitate after all this time? i really wonder..

i guess one reason is that ive always believed that sig-o (the significant other) is way out of my league!
what would i advice ppl who gives me that reason? itd be to just go ahead and at least to let her know, that at a point of time, she meant the world to you! even if it doesnt work out because she's totally out of your league, love will always overcome adversities..

yes, that's precisely what i would say normally.. but telling myself that and realising it is extremely impossible! why u might say that im so afraid of telling sig-o?
same is the reason as it was 4 years ago when i fell for another sig-o..
- i do not want to spoil the great relations we have as friends!

i guess im not gd with rejections; or that im not good at being alone and not having friends..
because i know that in many cases or another, if things dont work out, being friends is just as awkward as when u first stepped into class at the beginning of sec sch/poly!
itd definitely be more acquaintance-like, rather than gd friends-like kinda thing u know..

ive put off time and time again opportunities to tell sig-o.. till at present, the heart doesnt race as fast...where bfore it was doing a 270km/h, and now, its only doing 230km/hr..

im honestly and seriously at least going to try to get my opportunity bfore i enter the next phase of my life, NS..
where after 2 years, even the best of friends can grow apart..

its no doubt that sig-o is one of the joys of my life.. because after selama ini, im still smiling.. haha..
ive rejected offers from jamal to help me get it off.. to talk to sig-o for me.. at that point of time, sounded like a stupid idea..

anyhooo, when im in the mood i try to pen down my feelings..and ive done so most with this sig-o..
k anyways, this is one of the few pieces of poem that ive written.. it might sound a little cheesy! but hey! bear with it! haha!

i think ill name it; Princess.

yesterday, today and tomorrow i hope
in the midst of the night we both soak
in the atmosphere that brought us together that faithful day
a day of smiles, joy, laughter and gay (gay as in happy)
no regrets i had knowing you since
everyday i hope,
hope i could be your prince
arriving in armour, and on a steed
waiting on you hand and feet,
my lovely princess
my beautiful greek goddess.

we'll ride our way through the fields at night
into the morn where we'll get ready to fight
the insolent men we let them be
im happy enough that you're with me
im strong inside when im with you
even to fend off a dragon or two
no doubt that you're the one for me
ive searched high and low
but none i meet
till you appeared like a dream one night in my head
a dream so beautiful ill find it hard to awake
where the rays shine as the sun rises the next morning
with you by my side, my sweet fairytale darling.

*Peace Out*